[Galinda:]

Elphie, now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project

[Elphaba:]

Oh, you really don't have to do that

[Galinda:]

I know!

That's what makes me so nice

Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I

And let's face it, right? Who isn't less fortunate than I?

My tender heart tends to start to bleed

And when someone needs a makeover, I simply have to take over

I know, I know exactly what they need

And even in your case

Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face

Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed

Follow my lead

And yes, indeed

You will be

Popular

You're gonna be popular

I'll teach you the proper ploys when you talk to boys

Little ways to flirt and flounce, ooh!

I'll show you what shoes to wear, how to fix your hair

Everything that really counts to be

Popular

I'll help you be popular

You'll hang with the right cohorts, you'll be good at sports

Know the slang you've got to know

So let's start 'cause you've got an awfully long way to go

Don't be offended by my frank analysis

Think of it as personality dialysis

Now that I've chosen to become a pal

A sister and adviser, there's nobody wiser

Not when it comes to

Popular

I know about popular

And with an assist from me to be who you'll be

Instead of dreary who-you-were

Well, are!

There's nothing that can stop you from becoming populer... —lar!

La-la, la-la

We're gonna make you popular

When I see depressing creatures

With unprepossessing features

I remind them on their own behalf to think of

Celebrated heads of state

Or especially great communicators

Did they have brains or knowledge?

Don't make me laugh

They were

[Elphaba:]

Popular

[Galinda:]

Right!

It's all about popular

It's not about aptitude, it's the way you're viewed

So it's very shrewd to be

Very, very popular like me, me

And though you protest

Your disinterest

I know clandestinely

You're gonna grin and bear it, your newfound popularity

Woo!

La-la, la-la

La-la, la-la

La-la, ooh

You'll be popular

Just not quite as popular as me